Introduction

The term Stress that we hear so much of can be used similarly to strain or tension. These words aren't inherently bad, they're even vital in science and nature. To better our relationship with stress, first we must be honest about what that relationship is and how we work with it.

Stress and Worry Take Work

You may wonder, why talk about worry when our topic is stress? Here's the secret: Worry and Stress are intertwined. In fact, I don't believe it's possible to have chronic stress without worry. Worry is meditating on our stress, which leads to chronic stress.

Stress is something that is needed to survive. If you are walking across a busy street and a taxi comes barreling toward you, it's important for your survival that you react! Your senses become more acute. Your body's energy moves from things like digestion to making your mind and your limbs work faster to get you out of immediate danger. It is a short-term and critical situation, and it's your body at it's very best! Once you get to the sidewalk, you have burned that extra cortisol (stress hormone) and you can take a moment to recover and move on with your day.

Chronic Stress is your body going haywire when faced with a situation that is not immediate fight or flight. If you have a co-worker who is teamed with you and is not pulling her load with a project, chronic stress can occur. You can feel daily or even constant frustration, anxiety, and resentment but not be able to do anything about it. In this scenario, you are not running from the taxi cab (a short-term problem) you are facing a several month long project, where you feel powerless to change things (chronic stress). Your body is producing the same cortisol, but there is no relief or release. It simply keeps responding to the stresses you feel. This is where worry comes into play.

Worry is Meditating on the Negative

When we talk with our clients, we often ask them if they are familiar with meditation. Most will say no, that is a religious practice I don't do. This is a BIG misconception. The fact is, everyone meditates, because it just means to contemplate, or reflect on something. It can also mean to consider that something is done. Powerful, when you think about it.

In our work project scenario, you can choose to engage in chronic stress or meditation about this situation or not. How often have you thought to yourself, "I can't believe how selfish she is." "He won't do anything, so I'm going to be left to do it all myself." "Why do I even come to work?" "What I do won't matter." These are all potential meditations that the person in our example could choose to engage in.

Change Your Mantra

A mantra is a phrase that is spoken over and over in transcendental meditation. Is it possible that we have our own mantras going in our heads? If we are chronically stressed, we are probably saying something negative like, "He is really stressing me out," or "I will NEVER get all this work done!" If things tend not to bother us, we probably say other things to ourselves like, "Oh Sally is just having a bad day, I won't let that ruin my time." "I can't wait to finish this project because I know my boss will see my perseverance and hard work." "I love my job, who cares if I have to do a little extra, I'm getting the opportunity to learn new things and create something- for a paycheck!" This is just two ways of viewing the exact same situation, but can be a radical change for your life.

Intelligence Quotient (IQ) versus Emotional Quotient (EQ)

Scientists are now studying a relatively new concept called Emotional Quotient. Most of us have heard of IQ, and science generally agrees that whatever you have at birth is your glass ceiling. You can do some things to get smarter and bump your use of intelligence, but it's pretty much stationary. You get what you get, end of story!

There are psychologists who believe that Emotional Quotient ((EQ) or Emotional Intelligence (EI), the same thing, may actually be a better indicator of success, and the great news is, you can grow your EQ over time! What does this have to do with stress? Plenty!

In January 2014 a study was published about a Radiology Department. It was examined for workplace stress. They found that people's stress management was directly linked to self-awareness, relationship management, and social awareness.¹ Another study of nurses found a direct correlation between higher EQ and life satisfaction and emotional wellbeing.² Another study showed people in prison generally had much lower EQ than average citizens.³

The great news is anyone can increase their Emotional Intelligence. Here are some tests and resources you can use to build your EQ: